I'm still here! I'm still going! Tomorrow makes my 23rd weigh in since beginning to see the Dietitian and Nurse Educator. I have had lots of ups and downs, including reoccurring illness from the end of January until mid April, but through it all I have continued to lose weight! As of last week I was down 33 pounds. This weekend was pretty bad. I pretty much let go of all control. Actually, I did pretty darn good at my cousin's wedding on Saturday, but yesterday, I just wanted to eat eat eat! I felt so full when I went to bed! What's done is done, moving on!
377, I haven't been that low for about two years. Subconsciously, I think I began to sabotage myself because it really started to sink in that I have made a lot of progress, and because that number sticks out to me as being the lowest I can remember in the recent past. It's like 377 is an invisible threshold, and my sub-conscience is afraid to cross it. I am tempted to stand there at the open door and watch all my progress slip away on the wild waves of "I told you that you would fail" and "you're not good enough", but I am NOT going to do that. I'm going to pick up the pieces and start in again!
It's amazing how natural it is to just sit there and mindlessly eat. Haven't grown out of that yet. The important thing is that I not only recognize the symptoms, but that I now have the will to stop the destructive behavior. It's a long process, a journey on a seemingly endless road, but somewhere out there, there is a place, a beautiful place where there lives a happy, healthy (body, mind and soul) me!
KEEP GOING!
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