Monday, July 7, 2014

Let's try this again...

I started this blog a few years ago when I was trying to do something about my weight. That didn't pan out, so here we go again.

Over the past couple years I have gone up and down the same thirty or so pounds. At my heaviest i got to 412. I found this humiliating. I have continued going to the dietitian and for the past two years I've been seeing a great counselor. I made some good progress both physically and emotionally, but I seem to be stuck again.

In February 2013 I joined Weight Watchers online and did really well. I lost fifty pounds by October, but my boss unexpectedly quit right as I was starting grad school and my life became about survival. I still did pretty well, but by December, the lack of a boss, the pressures of grad school and a toxic friendship just plainly exhausted me. Since December I just haven't been able to get back on the bandwagon.

Lately, I've been watching episodes of Supersize vs. Superskinny on YouTube and I realized that yet again I started well and then just kind of stopped. Yes, there were good reasons, but life is never going to the ideal circumstances and I need to learn to put on my battle gear because I NEED TO DO THIS!!!

Over the past couple years I have really grown upset with the media and with the food industry. I have started to try and eat as clean as I can because I am convinced that the food manufacturers are trying to, and successfully so, addict us to their food. There is so much sugar, and salt, added to processed food and our brains react the same way when we eat sugar as when using cocaine. (Article in Forbes) I am also really against GMO. I think that genetically modifying our food is a dangerous idea.

Another disturbing trend is how many antibiotics we pump into livestock like chicken and beef. There are so many girls who are now developing early and their bodies are full of hormones from the food they eat--it's not healthy.

As for the media, we have such a skewed body image as a nation and a sick concept of beauty. Magazines and advertising agencies Photoshop pictures to where they are unrealistic and we now think that we have to be stick thin and have flawless skin. No one looks like that! It is my dream that through this blog and through a couple other ideas I have, to do my part to get us back to a healthy view of beauty.

So, my intentions for this blog are to share my experiences in the hope of encouraging others with the same or similar issues, and to have an outlet as I try to overcome my food addiction and improve my self image. I am going to be very open and honest here, and I hope that others will only make supportive comments. If you are struggling with similar issues, please feel free to message me.

So, here I am--365 pounds. I have given myself a deadline: if I don't make significant progress by the end of the year, then I am going to see about surgery. I do not want to do surgery, but I have to get the weight off.

Ok, starting today, things are gonna be different!


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